If you’re new to the world of anal play, getting started can seem daunting and even possibly dangerous. Whilst many couples (and individuals) from all orientations and dynamics participate in anal play, it is rarely spoken about and has all kinds of myths surrounding it. At Honour, we’re dedicated to ensuring your sex is as safe and pleasurable as possible, and as such we’re going to dispel some of these myths for you now.
What is anal play?
Anal play actually covers a myriad of acts that can occur between a couple or as a solo player. Anal play can be on a woman or a man (or anyone in-between!) and covers anything going into, or around, the anus. This includes, but is not limited to - manual stimulation with another body part - of your own or someone else’s such as a finger, fist, tongue or penis; using unisex anal toys such as butt plugs, anal beads, and tunnels; prostate massage for men using prostate massagers; or pegging with a strap-on dildo.
If you are exploring anal play with a partner, you need to first establish that both parties are consenting and eager to proceed. Anal play will be no fun for anyone if both of you aren’t relaxed enough to begin with! There are three rules to successfully beginning your anal play journey. Start small, start slow, and lube lube lube! Whether you’re starting with a finger, a plug, or a dildo harness, you want to choose something small in diameter, and begin by slowly teasing the outside of the anus with the object of your choice. Ideally, the “bottom” in this scenario will begin to push themselves onto the object out of pure temptation before you’ve even made any attempt to penetrate themselves. If you’ve reached this stage, congratulate yourself on your patience -- your partner is now warmed up enough for full anal penetration! When you are first beginning your anal play adventure, you really can’t use too much lubricant. If you are going for a body part or a natural rubber toy, silicone lubricant is the best lube for anal play as it is long-lasting. Water-based lubricants can be absorbed by the thirsty tissues of your rectum, which leads to the need for re-application at intervals. However, if you are playing with a silicone anal toy, please do not use a silicone lubricant as this may melt your toy! For silicone toys, we recommend a water- or petroleum-based lubricant designed specifically for anal play: hybrid lubricants such as Liquid Silk and Lubido Hybrid, anal-specific water-based lubricants such as Lubido Aloe, or petroleum-based anal formulas such as Anal Glide by Doc Johnson. (Please note: Do not use petroleum-based lubricants on rubber or condoms!) Many people like to use an enema or douche before beginning their anal play, and whilst this may make you feel more comfortable, this is not at all a necessity. Anal play will get messy, no matter how much you clean beforehand, and this is something that you and your partner should be comfortable with before beginning. You can always wear latex gloves and a condom (on yourself or a the anal toy) for protection! However, washing thoroughly after your anal play is non-negotiable as this will prevent any infections from forming. For those performing anal play on a female body, you must always keep your anal and vaginal toys separate, and never “double dip” or use the same body part or toy for both the vagina and anus without washing thoroughly or changing condoms.
The reigning champ of anal toys is the Butt Plug. Commonly available in metal, rubber, and silicone, butt plugs are used to create a satisfying feeling of fullness either by itself or as an accompaniment to other sexual acts such as masturbating or intercourse. For beginners, you want to find something soft (generally a “jelly”-type silicone toy) and small - not much larger than a finger. If you are unable to squeeze your toy and feel that it has some give in it, we would not recommend it for beginners, as the rigidity of the toy can be a larger factor in comfort than size. At Honour, we sell beginners sets of Butt Plugs in both metal and silicone which have three or more plugs in varying sizes so you can “train” yourself to take larger plugs as you progress. Butt plugs can also come with a jewel on the bottom for some cheeky decoration, or with vibrating functions to heighten your anal sensations. Once you’re used to your new butt plug fun, you can also expand - quite literally - by trying an inflatable plug. These are usually made of rubber and come with a pump so that you can inflate your plug upon insertion. These are great for those who enjoy the sensation of fullness - and besides, who doesn’t love rubber? Anal beads are much like butt plugs, except they are generally narrower and longer, and as you can imagine come with bubbles or beads attached. Anal beads are great to slowly insert during the build up to orgasm, and to be pulled back out of the anus in one smooth motion at the point of orgasm.
Prostate massagers are among the most popular sex toys for men -- so don’t feel alone if you are interested in exploring your male p-spot! We stock a range of prostate massagers in different sizes, many with vibrating functions for that extra prostate-milking kick! Some men can learn to orgasm from prostate stimulation alone, so it’s a great place to start if you’re looking for new ways to enjoy your solo play.
Male Anal Toys - Pegging
Pegging is the term for woman-on-man anal sex with a strap-on harness and dildo. Depending on the position you use, you will want your dildo to curve upwards or downwards to the location of the prostate - which is just behind the testicles inside the rectum and feels like a half-walnut (about two knuckles deep into the rectum). Before you begin riding away, you will want to wear your new strap-on around the house to ensure you feel comfortable with your new appendage, and to ensure it does not fall down or twist around as you move. Fumbling around with your harness while your partner waits expectantly can ruin the mood for everyone so you want to be comfortable with your new toy before getting down to business. There are a lot of different strap-on harnesses and dildos, which you can purchase as a set or separately. Shop around and consider the scenario you have in mind for pegging before you purchase - will you be wearing clothes beneath the harness? Would you like to keep your crotch and back-side open and available for penetration? Would you prefer a thong or jock style harness? If you are not wearing clothes or underwear beneath your harness, you will want a harness which has padding between the dildo and your mons pubis so you can avoid chafing. Once you’re comfortable with your harness and ready to saddle up, bear in mind that life is not a porno movie, as much as we may sometimes like it to be. You cannot mimic what you may have seen in adult movies, at least not right away. Remember to start small and slow, and to check in with your partner at intervals during. As you obviously cannot feel your new penis extension, you need to make sure that everything is going smoothly by communicating with your partner. -- Hopefully now you are ready to enter the world of anal play feeling a little more armed for the journey.