Life as a sex toy reviewer

I have been reviewing sex machines, BDSM products and sex toys for four years now. When I tell people what I do for a living, it always generates a lot of interest.

Yes, I masturbate for a living, but while it sounds like the perfect job it isn't as glamorous as you might think. Don't get me wrong I love what I do, but there is a lot more to it than just giving yourself a constant stream of orgasms.

I love reviewing for ethical companies who focus on customer service and have quality products which is why I love reviewing products from Honour.

So, let me give you an insight into what it's like to review sex toys and products for a living and what I like reviewing the most.

My Sticky Notes
I keep a notepad next to my bed for me to jot down quick notes after a play session. I call it my sticky pad as I often have sticky lubed up fingers leaving prints on it as I jot down notes.

I tend to take about three weeks to review a product. Why so long? Well, I like to use something at least five but usually around ten times before writing up my review.

It is important to use something so many times as things can feel so different when you are in different moods, stressed, tired or lots of other things that can affect your play session. By using toys lots of times, you can get a good feel for them and then give a qualified view on it.

Before I use something for the first time, I take product photos for the review, and I do a table review of it. This involves looking at the materials, feel and features of the thing I am reviewing.

Lots of notes are made, and I always do the pics before using something as I want to show how a product will look straight out of the box not covered in lube and goo after playing with it.

Once I am ready to write up a product review I sit down at my computer and using my notes and experiences write it all down, then I edit it again and again before creating the review online and adding links and photos to the article.

Publishing
Once I am happy, I then publish the review, inform the company that sent me the product and then the process of promoting it online begins.

I am often asked if companies get to see the review before it is finished, and the answer is simple. No, they get to look at the review at the same time as everyone else, and they have no input to it whatsoever. This can be a bit awkward if the review is a bad one and yes, I have given a fucking machine a score of 1.4 out of ten.

Honesty and integrity are something that you need as a reviewer. Readers will soon learn if you are not truthful and that will kill your career dead in its tracks.

What do you so if you don't like something? It does happen. If I don't like something, then it doesn't mean someone else won't love it, so I like to explain why it isn't for me, and I state who may find it a fantastic product.

I have a female submissive and a partner who I often refer to as my "Stunt Cock", and they both help with reviews. Being able to review pretty much anything is good.

I have a wide range of tastes and love reviewing a wide variety of products. So let me tell you about the types of things I love reviewing.

Sex and Fucking Machines
I have a kinky streak a mile wide and love reviewing sex and fucking machines. Well, who wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of the fucking of a lifetime? Machines never tire and never slow down which is why they are so much fun.

E-Stim and Electrosex Equipment

Did you know you can give yourself hands-free orgasms just by using electricity safely? I didn't until about three years ago, and I have never looked back.

E-stim equipment is so much fun, and I love the fact that Honour stock equipment from one of the UK's premier manufacturer or e-stim equipment Electrastim.

I love their Flick Stimulator, and my Stunt Cock loves his Prestige Cock Lops and his Electrastim Jack Socket.

BDSM Equipment

Smacky, thuddy, locky up fun. BDSM is fantastic with a vast array of products to choose from. I love reviewing BDSM products with the aid of my submissive.

Whether it be blindfolds, gags, restraints or more specialised equipment, I love using it and getting to know it.

My favourites are impact play toys like floggers, paddles and of course canes and restraints.

Dildos & Vibrators

Now we get to some of the most fun items I review. I love body-safe sex toy materials, so I review silicone, metal, glass and ceramic dildos and vibes.

I won't review dildos and vibrators made from materials that are not body-safe and spend lots of time on my blog trying to educate people about sex toys materials.

Honour stock one of my favourite brands of vibrators and that is Rocks Off, they are a UK company and produce amazing vibrators.

I must mention Doxy and their incredible range of wand-style vibrators. The Doxy is the wand that all others are measured against, and I love mine.

Shoes and Boots

I have a thing for fuck me shoes and boots, and I love reviewing them. There is just something so sexy about shiny boots and shoes, and they get my juices flowing.

Lubes

Often overlooked, lube is something that we should all use whenever we play. I feel so good and helps prevent friction problems especially when enjoying fucking machine fun.

Short Bio
Joanne is a married mother in her 40’s who runs a very successful adult product review site www.sexmachinereviews.co.uk She started off her award-winning site four years ago reviewing sex machines and branched into almost every form of adult product and sex toys. Yes, she masturbates for a living and it is a job she thoroughly enjoys. You can check out her blog Joanne Sex Machine Reviews.

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