Sadism and Masochism (frequently known as S&M) involves sexual pleasure from a variety of forms of physical pain; whipping, clamping, hair pulling, choking, or even emotional pain in some cases; humiliation (often through small penis humiliation) or complete submission to a dominant. The sadism aspect refers to how one can gain pleasure from the infliction of pain on others, whilst masochism is the tendency to receive pleasure from having pain inflicted upon the self.

There are many ways to get involved with S&M, all using a variety of techniques, toys and erogenous zones. Starting with the simplest and easiest methods, you’ll find below our step by step guide to engaging with S&M, along with a couple of our favorite products to create the most painful pleasures.

Impact play is using the action of hitting or being hit to pleasure your partner. The most commonly used tools are floggers, whips and crops, which are available in a huge variety of materials, styles, shapes and flexibility, all of which will cause a completely different sensation. Some prefer to stick with their hands, and aim to leave the perfect handprint or bruise on the behind of the masochist. Spanking with these tools can increase blood flow, leave a tingling sensation and release dopamine in the brain, to create a pleasurable experience.

You may have heard of blind people having their other senses heightened, which is exactly what sensory deprivation tries to achieve. The feeling of being restricted, unable to move or feel what one would usually feel, or even being unable to see or hear can all hugely increase the arousal levels and pleasure derived from the acts. Using blindfolds, handcuffs, rope and tape are all common sensory deprivation techniques, but extreme gags, spreader bars, hoods and body bags can also be used to create more extreme sensations.

The sensations of hot and cold can sometimes be refreshing and pleasurable, then painful when they get to extremes, but S&M practitioners love this. The use of glass or metal toys, either frozen or heated, can create some incredible stimulatory experiences as they draw the brain’s focus to all the nerve endings in one particular area. For those who don’t wish to heat or cool their toys, some prefer to use low melting point candles, and feel the rush as hot wax is dripped onto them - the closer the candle is to the skin the hotter it feels as the flame gets scarcely close. From the other end, ice cubes are a simple effective way to create intense cooling sensations, particularly if placed over the nipples, clitoris and other erogenous zones. Further still we have a range of stimulant gels which can be included with any kind of fetish play, or something a little tamer. Designed to cause a cooling, warming or tingling sensation, these will make your brain produce huge amounts of endorphins and really amp up the pleasure.


Many S&M players also enjoy the emotional distress aspect of this fetish, focusing on a heavily dominant/submissive relationship. The dominant will verbally degrade the submissive, often along the lines of having ‘been bad’ and ‘needing punishment’, whilst other avenues can involve embarrassment or humiliation. This form of punishment can be performed in addition to all sorts of S&M play. A common humiliation kink which fits this category would be Small Penis Humiliation (SPH), which focuses on the degradation of the penis, its length and girth usually, but often also it's texture, shape or ability to please. There is no requirement to have a small penis to enjoy SPH, but many gain huge amounts of pleasure from this particular form of erotic humiliation.

It is important to consider within S&M that all pain inflicted should be consented to between all parties, and that all involved should agree beforehand on a form of safeword or signal that is easy to identify if anything gets too much or the play has to stop for any given reason. Play safe!